If you live in a western country, then chances are, you'll learn how to drive a vehicle. If you learn to drive a vehicle, chances are...it'd be a car. As of late, I realised what a massive hypocrite I am when it comes to road rules and manners. Even if you don't have a license I'm sure you also understand, being the fellow
backseat driver that 90% of us are.
Turning Into a Freeway
The
adrenaline rush that comes with the ability accelerate to 100 (or 120) km/h. It can't get better than that when there is no cars near you before and after you merge. It's that 2-3 seconds of freedom
to go beserk without having to worry about getting caught by cops hiding from nearby bushes.
If you understand that feeling, then you also understand that feeling when there's a car next to you, also trying to merge into the freeway. It would be fine normally...but, they're trying to take your place.
How dare they? Trying to
rob your freedom of speeding. In fact, they probably have a better car with a better engine.
 |
| They even have sunglasses. |
But you don't want to give your position to that obviously better car. So what do you do? You push your car hoping it would go faster. But it doesn't. Face it. A girly car like
Toyota Yaris isn't going to out accelerate a
Skyline.
 |
| Seriously, why are you trying? |
But the hypocrisy? Where does that come in? When you're the one who has an edge over the other car. Sure you're still using the girly Yaris, but this time you're up against a
1973 Ford Laser. Yep, being an average tight ass, you just overtook their cereal box on wheels.
But that's not the worst part. The worst part is, chances are, this is all happening
during peak hour traffic. Meaning, the freeway is probably
congested and the cars in front of you are traveling at 10km/hr or even not moving. Idiots, wasted fuel to fight over an insignificant position only to halt dead in your tracks.
Weaving Through Traffic
Ah...who isn't guilty of this? For those who raised their hands physically or in their hands, I don't believe you. Even deep inside as a passenger you were thinking "
Omg overtake that stupid car".
Many times the past few weeks have I been stuck in peak hour traffic, waiting for the moving cars in the lane next to mine to run out so I can switch lanes. And after
10 long seconds, my patience is
rewarded, the moving cars disappear. That's when it hits. Everything slows down, mocking me. In the corner of my eye, I see the car behind me from my rear view mirror. It changes lane faster than me. And by the time they've finished, the traffic flow is resumed.
How dare he/she
deny me of my patience? It's almost like they think I'm the
Fountain of Patience. No! Patience doesn't
magically grow on trees. I only had
10 seconds of it and you used it!
At the same time, I feel a great feeling of dominance when I do the same to my fellow drivers. But it's ok, I'm only reaping my 10 lost seconds of patience from the last time someone stole it from me.
Jay Walkers
I don't know where the term comes from but I hate them. Perhaps it's different in other countries but in Australia, at least in Melbourne, people are like the Gods of the road. It doesn't matter if they materialized right infront of you. If you hit them, they can press charges.
I categorize them into a few categories:
the dasher,
the statue,
the old lady, and
the crowd.
Let's start by having a look at
the statue. These people like to stand in the middle of the lanes, nonchalantly. It's almost like they're challenging me to run them over and score 100 points but land in jail. You'd probably say, "Just
avoid them, they're in
plain sight and
aren't even moving." Unfortunately, this particular breed tend to be more abundant during
night time. And yes, they're wearing
dark clothing.
Next, there is
the dasher. Perhaps they view this as an extreme sport, or perhaps they actually want you to
run them over, but whatever the explanation, this breed of jay walkers like to wait until you're close enough to hit your brakes hard when you see them dashing
in front of you.
Then you have
the crowd. At a young age, we're all taught that there is
safety in numbers. Apparently, people get too comfortable with this idea and take it on to the roads. Though technically speaking 2 is not a crowd, as my reader you should not question my logic and just nod affirmative when I tell you that 2+ people jay walking at the same time is The Crowd.
These believe they gain
invulnerability when they are no longer one, but many. However, The Crowd is not a seperate breed of jay walkers. They're simply a category of
delusional social behavior that jay walkers display. That is to say, you can have a crowd of statues. Or even worse. A crowd of half statues and half dashers. Much like penguins.
 |
| A crowd of jay walking penguins. |
Finally, you have
the old lady. Not disrespecting any elderly people here. In fact, I have done volunteering work to help out at nurseries. However, being elderly does not give you invulnerability to incoming traffic. You would probably die faster than any other jay walker. Yet, the old lady (or the old man if subject is a male) would casually stroll out at a snails pace across 6 lanes of traffic. If being old makes you invulnerable to dying via physical impacts...then I want to be old.
In all due respect, it does make my day when I've been waiting for 5 minutes at the Give Way sign when a random jay walker appears to block the incoming traffic for me.
-Pui.x
